


this is halloween

by tinytreehouse



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: Gen, I suppose, Interesting, abstract medical tw, anyways this is a dubious plotline but in my defense i banged it out in a night, artemis is pretentious, holly is sick, my sense of humor is, sally from nightmare before christmas inspired, the halloween one shot no one asked for, the laws of magic are strange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:46:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27319465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinytreehouse/pseuds/tinytreehouse
Summary: Artemis gets a concerning message from Holly. She's suffering from a strange ailment and he's her best (albeit only) option.Post-TLG. Technocrash isn't really mentioned, but it did happen; mostly canon compliant.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16





	this is halloween

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aculos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aculos/gifts), [mentosmorii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mentosmorii/gifts).



_Artemis, we have a problem. Call me when you see this._

Artemis sat up straighter, intrigued. This was far from the most concerning message he’d received from Holly, but it mystified him nonetheless. Holly wasn’t usually the type to be so cryptic. He turned his communicator ring into his palm and formed his fingers into a phone shape.

Holly picked up seconds later.

“Thank Frond, mud boy. I think Foaly’s about to have an aneurysm.” Artemis smirked and opened his mouth to deliver a snarky response, but closed it once he detected the urgency in Holly’s tone. 

“What seems to be the problem, Commodore?” 

“I don’t really know how to describe it. Can you meet me in Foaly’s booth? I’m not really in a moving condition right now.” This situation was growing more fascinating by the second. Artemis began shrugging on his suit jacket with one arm, the other arm still incapacitated by his communicator.

“Of course. I’ll be there momentarily.” 

The journey down to Haven had been stressful, to say the least. Artemis briefed Butler on the scant details on the way down. The news triggered a spontaneous cleaning of the bodyguard’s Sig Sauer. By the time they entered Police Plaza, Emma* was gleaming like a deadly mirror (a mirror shaped like a gun! a gun-mirror, if you will.)

Artemis nearly ran to the tech booth, sacrificing his polished exterior to save time in reaching his friend. His mind was running wild with possibilities, none of them good. The door to the booth opened before he arrived, and Foaly’s worried face peeked out.

“Artemis! I hate to say this, but I’m glad you’re here. Her condition… I’m afraid to say it stumped even me. The genius- no, super genius Foaly, stumped by a mere ailment of the flesh. Oh, the shame,” he practically wailed. 

“Foaly, now is not the time for your egotistical ranting. Holly could be in serious danger.” Artemis pushed past the distraught centaur and into the room, where Holly lay listless on a table. Upon moving closer, he could see that her skin had taken on a strange texture at certain intervals, almost like it was sewn together. 

“Curious,” he breathed. Holly turned toward the sound of his voice and smiled weakly.

“Is that all I am to you? A curiosity?”

“Commodore Short, you know I would never-” Artemis broke off when he noticed the twinkle in her eyes. “Well, at least your brain has been left untouched by this mysterious ailment.”

He stepped forward and ran a finger over a textured line of skin, shocked to find that the ‘thread’ in her arms was movable and behaved like actual thread. 

“Do you know how this happened?” Holly shrugged her shoulders and immediately winced. 

“No, I woke up like this. It wasn’t as bad as it is now, so I came to work like it was a normal day. By lunch, one of my arms had fallen off.” Artemis’s eyes widened as he noticed the blanket draped haphazardly over one side of Holly’s small frame. “Foaly brought me in here so as not to scare everyone else. Plus, even if I was able to be moved, I wouldn’t be able to go to Haven Hospital. This is beyond them.” 

“May I see the arm, please?” 

Foaly trotted over with a small limb in tow and handed it to Artemis for inspection. The arm was wrapped in fabric, concealing everything but Holly’s hand.

“The trigger finger too? That’s twice it’s been detached in as many decades! You really should be more careful with your appendages, you know.” Holly scoffed.

“And whose fault was it the first time, Mud boy?” Artemis raised his hands in surrender. 

“Let’s focus on the issue at hand,” he said, inadvertently waving Holly’s limp forelimb. He walked around the table and pulled back the blanket, prepared for the grisly sight that awaited him.

Grisly, it was not. What Artemis saw left him absolutely flummoxed. Instead of bone, muscle, and blood, the Commodore’s body appeared to be stuffed with leaves. 

“How are you even alive?” Artemis muttered. 

“Please. You’re asking this after everything we’ve been through together? I think the troll situation was a lot more dire than this, personally. This is just another day for people like us, Artemis. As for how I’m alive? Well, I’m just built different.” Holly shrugged again, shoulder pain be damned. 

“Foaly, have you called No. 1 in to look at this?” Foaly nodded.

“He’s in Atlantis on a classified case. Obviously, it’s not classified for me, Foaly, world class hacker, but it is for you, peasant.” At Artemis’s contemptuous look, he hurried on. “Anyway, he won’t be back until next week. This is up to you, Artemis.” 

Artemis began by sewing Holly’s limb back on. Shockingly, the body accepted it right away. Perks of having no veins to reattach, he supposed. He took the liberty of removing a couple of leaves for inspection.

“Holly, I’m going to bring these to my lab and try to further decipher your condition. Just sit tight for now, I’ll be back in a moment.” Foaly opened the door of the tech booth without protest, only to be met by Trouble’s, well, troubled face.

“Foaly, we have a problem.”

**Author's Note:**

> * I borrowed the lovely @aculos’s headcanon that Butler named his Sig Sauer Emma and it’s now canon in my book.  
> If this does well I might do a sequel. We did leave off on a cliffhanger, after all.  
> Come say hi on Tumblr! https://www.tumblr.com/blog/emmas-cozy-nook  
> As always, kudos and comments are much appreciated :)


End file.
